Feelings

When someone dies it hurts, just watch the news and I feel sad but recently I have felt even sadder when someone close to me died and not from natural causes but by someone else hand.I tried not to Cry when i got the news I did not know how to feel, How did I find out my MOM was trying to reach me but i was working and could not pick up the phone .they kept calling and I finally answered but I was working and i said call me later they were crying but then I began to think, why were they crying at first I thought it was an old family member that died, and I was thinking about why my family member calls me crying but then I finally was off work. I was trying to return the call but they were not picking . I called my grandmother to see if she passed away but it wasn't until she finally pick up and explain to me why that other family member was crying. And it was because one of my aunts was murdered. I felt like that was unfair my ant was a hard-working lady and did not deserve to be sent to god palace so early . The feeling is just so bad it turns your stomach and you feel mad but at the same time sad . The worst part is that i did not get to say goodbye and that is the worst part. I did not cry when i got the news, I was in shock time I just did not know how to feel 3 days later after the news I was thinking why didn't I cry, then I started crying because she did not deserve to die. The lesson i learned is pick up the phone if any family member call you more than 1 once and always talk to family to make sure you at least say goodbyes.